Thursday, June 26, 2008

Here we go round the mullberry bush~

Whatever that means huh? Ok...
I have been in and outta my brain these last few days learning more about me and what makes a food addict tick... Why I eat has never been to difficult to figure out.. Right? I eat because I am hungry.. No brain er... I am always hungry so I always eat? Ok how possible is it to be always hungry? Am I? Can I be? Whats the difference between, not full and hungry? I can get full? No I don't think I can... I can be not hungry right? Ok... I am not full and can eat everything in my path.. I can be hungry and be satisfied,,,,
It all comes down to form and function.... I have been living in the need no form to function so long that my function has become my form..... I know this makes no sense right now bear w/ me....
The simple truth is depression is not laziness.. (Thank you Pat) Laziness is a product of depression.. Chemicals, chemicals we lack in our brains.... Envirment, a place we have been led to by our own self doubt, maybe self sabotage.. Lets not forget perhaps the most instrumental, the circumstance that happens to be the root... Childhood... learned behavior...
My family celebrates like many other American families. Food in excess, drink in excess... Life Love.... Everything in excess... It's what we know. It's what we teach our kids.....
Then we grow-up... Get a little wiser then the ones before us... This excess isn't working....
Watch what we eat... Eat smaller, less often... Better... Not enough.. Faster.. Slower..... All coming to the day that we learn even more.. AND do Even less....
I AM depressed, I eat too much I can't move because I have eaten myself unhealthy... I have tools now, more tools better tools... I am not lazy. I am sad.... I'm not worthless I was misdirected... I am not wrong, I was not informed...
The tools say...
Eat when you get up, eat protein....
Drink drink water
snack on fruits nuts
Drink water
protein
drink water
fiber...
portion....
walk....
LIVE...
It's not hard... It's the difference between living and dying.
It's the difference between mind healthy, body healthy and depression.
Choose Martina! Don't set yourself up to fail.... You are only failing yourself.....
Admit.. You are the one only you can change this..... Everyday Change it every day!
I am not Lazy... I was depressed... I was sad..... I was hurting.... I am alive.. I am strong... I am capable... I CAN.... I AM......

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