My kids are trying to kill me!

Thank all of you for doing my six strange things......

I went to see my Wls doctor on Wen this last week.. I lost 6 pounds in just a few short weeks.. But have at least 4 more to go! I'm not sure if I will do it.. I suck! These last few days I have just been so low... Too low to even blog about it....I stopped taking my lexipro for about a week and man it kicked my ass... My Son Josh, is kicking my ass as well... He has drastic mood swings, where the most evil things come outta his mouth.. Always directed @ me... For I am the reason his life is Stupid, awful, boring, and lame!!! HEEHEE typing that makes me laugh! I don't know why, but it does! Josh took Chaunis car this Thursday and wrapped it around a telephone poll.. He had one of the other boys w/ him.. He called me screaming and hyperventilating.. The most terrifying phone call a mum could ever get..... They are ok.. Just by a miracle.... The car on the other hand the airbags blew right in the boys faces bruising them up pretty bad... The radiator was broke right in half, the engine pushed up into the dash and well lets just say the front is a mess... The worst part about all of this.. Chauni is gone at a conference up in Anchorage... I didn't have the heart to call her and tell her what had happened.... She comes in today.. Expecting me to pick her up w/ her car.... I am heartsick.. I don't know how to tell her, her first car she bought and paid for all by herself is totalled... She love her car as any 18 year old girl would... My son now will not be able to get his licence until he is 21.... Which is a small price to pay compared to killing himself or someone else is... But telling a 16 year old he can't drive till he is 21 is a gnarly conversation.... Growing up and paying the piper sucks.... I need to get so much done in just a short week .

Brian is still insistent on moving this month.. I am secretly still very angry... I try to be positive.. BUT... I am still pissed off! I have started my spring planting here in the house and when I am pissed scared overwhelmed I cook, plant and sew.. You should see my dinning room.. Soil, thread and canning jars filled w/ jams, sauces, cheese... I am slipping outta touch w/ everyone... And scared as hell about it! The kids and I planted wheat grass for their Easter baskets and the grass came up so nice..I have to go juice some now.. It sucks that wheat grass doesn't keep but a moment after you juice it.... I guess I'll just drink a gallon of it today.... LOOK OUT BATHROOM~

I was approved and have a date!

I received the phone call I have been waiting for the last few years for... I received it after I got the call that my friend Beth died... I didn't feel like getting on here and being excited.... I guess I waited so long for this date, that when it finally came I was kinda numb...

I go up the 1 for some testing and then the 10 for my final stuff.. We will get a hotel for the weekend and then Sunday night I go into the hospital for surgery prep.. Monday I have surgery, stay in the hospital for two days.. I then have to go to a hotel and stay 8 more days in the city.. Then they release me to come home if there are no problems.. I don't for see any problems.. Austin and Chauni are going to stay w/ me while I am up there for the 8 days.. SO I can have Oz near me... Brian and Josh will stay home packing for our move....

Brian has agreed to keep the property.. I will be making the house payments, after I start back up to work... I haven't worked for almost 3 years now.. It's been weird to stay at home.. I miss working though! We keep the property so I can still have my garden. SO I can still keep my yard.... We haven't rented for awhile now.. I don't want to go back to renting, but Brian wants to so I guess we will.... As long as I get to keep my house in the woods I don't care I guess!

Does my ass make my face look fat?

This is how I pose w/ Oz now... Behind him, or face shots... All these are from last year he is much bigger now.. I want to have lots of pictures w/ Oz I haven't any w/ the other kids.. Too ashamed of how I look.. That is why I can do this DIET I am going to remind myself every moment if I have to about all the great things to come... I CAN DO THIS!



Well it is OHFISHL (I know... I know... but that spelling makes me happy so shut up!) I now know EXACTLY Why I amm soo DAMN FAT One Day on my DIET and I SUCK! and measuring food When you're hungry is a DRAG
I have learned that I need more protein in the morning then the evening.... Maybe it's just the idea of something I can chew... Drinking my breakfast makes me mad!
This morning I took some of the supper I made last night it was to be honest I didn't weigh so I'm guessing around 3 oz of chicken = 0 carbs 1/2 cp of re fried beans = 15 carbs - 5 for fiber = 10. 1 tablespoon of Brians salsa con questa = 1 carb. 11 carbs, 2.5 fat and 19.70 of protein for breakfast..
I am thinking that I will post the day after to just add up what I have eaten that day... I have a food journal to write all of this in as well... I have had 25 fl oz of water too so far... UUUUG!

AND, it begins....

This is how I feel... Freedom, just beyond the trees....
Brian took these last spring! I love them Eagles remind me of Freedom!



OH My My My...
I can't contain my Joy... I am sooo frickin excited.... I knew that I would be approved for WLS, that I was never worried about.. The time it takes for the insurance company to get back to the Dr. is insane. I got the call yesterday... Less then a week and I am approved! The Office wanted to know when was a good time for me to have surgery... LOL A good time for me to have surgery, ME! SURGERY! WEll ummm, YEAH! NOW NOW NOW Wait.. I haven't been on my two week diet yet... UUUUG! No problem, she says.. We can put you on the surgery schedule. Christy will call you and we will get the date set up... Holy Crap, that easy... thats all.. I have been jumping thru hoops for over a year and it's that easy? I still have to lose 10 lbs.. More then likely.. I have gained a few pounds.... HELP ME!
OK This diet is not so bad...
Carbohydrates ~ NO MORE THEN 30 grams a day
Protein ~ @lest 80 grams
Fat ~ no more then 60 grams
I have the protein thing down.. I drink soy protein 30 grams per shake. I have 3 of them a day. 130 calories .05 carbs..
AND lots of water.. I get so much water in I am floating.... I will start posting my meals tomorrow....
Here I go... My life is changing... BREATHE Martina BREATHE

Road trip~ Dr. visit~

I have to lose 10 lbs before surgery.. Not so bad huh? The appt. went great... I had my favorite Nurse. Her name is Bobby and she weighed the same amount as me and looks amazing 4 years later.... Everything is now in, counting my dang hours on my machine.. I should be getting a call anyday now that everything went into insurance... I am still not getting over the top excited.. I never know, I quess the insurance can still deny me which would be a major drag... I really haven't anything to say right now.. Some blogger I am huh?