My kids are trying to kill me!

Thank all of you for doing my six strange things......

I went to see my Wls doctor on Wen this last week.. I lost 6 pounds in just a few short weeks.. But have at least 4 more to go! I'm not sure if I will do it.. I suck! These last few days I have just been so low... Too low to even blog about it....I stopped taking my lexipro for about a week and man it kicked my ass... My Son Josh, is kicking my ass as well... He has drastic mood swings, where the most evil things come outta his mouth.. Always directed @ me... For I am the reason his life is Stupid, awful, boring, and lame!!! HEEHEE typing that makes me laugh! I don't know why, but it does! Josh took Chaunis car this Thursday and wrapped it around a telephone poll.. He had one of the other boys w/ him.. He called me screaming and hyperventilating.. The most terrifying phone call a mum could ever get..... They are ok.. Just by a miracle.... The car on the other hand the airbags blew right in the boys faces bruising them up pretty bad... The radiator was broke right in half, the engine pushed up into the dash and well lets just say the front is a mess... The worst part about all of this.. Chauni is gone at a conference up in Anchorage... I didn't have the heart to call her and tell her what had happened.... She comes in today.. Expecting me to pick her up w/ her car.... I am heartsick.. I don't know how to tell her, her first car she bought and paid for all by herself is totalled... She love her car as any 18 year old girl would... My son now will not be able to get his licence until he is 21.... Which is a small price to pay compared to killing himself or someone else is... But telling a 16 year old he can't drive till he is 21 is a gnarly conversation.... Growing up and paying the piper sucks.... I need to get so much done in just a short week .

Brian is still insistent on moving this month.. I am secretly still very angry... I try to be positive.. BUT... I am still pissed off! I have started my spring planting here in the house and when I am pissed scared overwhelmed I cook, plant and sew.. You should see my dinning room.. Soil, thread and canning jars filled w/ jams, sauces, cheese... I am slipping outta touch w/ everyone... And scared as hell about it! The kids and I planted wheat grass for their Easter baskets and the grass came up so nice..I have to go juice some now.. It sucks that wheat grass doesn't keep but a moment after you juice it.... I guess I'll just drink a gallon of it today.... LOOK OUT BATHROOM~

My bones are tired.... I think I will bury them in the snow

Well I went mad crazy... I chopped off all of my hair.... No Really I did it myself.... No I don't cut hair, never have.... I just took the scissors and started hacking away..... I cut about 14 inches off.... I couldn't brush it anymore.. With my arthritis and bursitis in my right shoulder it makes it so hard to brush long hair.... I am diggin it though... Not even close to being straight that makes me extra happy... I love looking just a bit off... Makes me smile!

My appt is coming up on the 1st.... I have my physical and history to get ready for surgery on the 13.... I am supposed to be on my diet... But today I sucked at it.... I however have not smoked my 1 a day cig since Sat... Not as hard as I thought it would be.. I know that everyday I have great friends praying for me and believe me you I can feel it...... Deep breath here.......

I don't have much to say tonight I am tired, but can't sleep... I canned up 6 quarts of homemade spaghetti sauce I will blog that on my other blog.. I also made other things a cranberry/ orange cake.. strawberry muffins and 6 loaves of banana bread and two loaves of french bread.. I am tired.. But Brian needs things to eat when I am gone.. I have made tamales and put them in the freezer. 5 loaves of wheat bread and strawberry freezer jam is next.... I have a couple more soups to freeze and one or two more batches of taco meat to put up and he should be good to go for a week...... Ugggg I am just rambling now!

My name is Martina and I have a few problems!

Shut up wordless Wedensday SHUT UP!

I have been up since around 4 a.m. I can't sleep.. too much on my mind.... Too much needs to be done! I have surgery in a few weeks! YIKES.. CRAP!! DAMN!!! Let me tell you that was cleaned up.. I have a few other adjectives but I will save them for my personal journal I keep under my pillow!

Every year I get my hair cut in April..Yes only once a year people... Don't like strangers that close to me... I know shut up! I donate my hair to Locks of Love and call it a day! Last year I hated my haircut... It was awful.. But hair does grow back.. So here I am this year... I am going pretty short .. I will be down for a few weeks and thought why not.. It will be so much easier to handle .. I have always loved long hair, seems the older I get it is kinda a drag.... But my fat face in short hair make me look like crap.. SO I figure if I get it cut now, by surgery day I might be used to it a little more....

Enough about that True confession time....

One of the rules and requirements of Weight Loss surgery is that you can't smoke...

I smoke 1 cig a day 2 one the weekends.. I have for about a year now.. I can go a few days then I just want one.. I have gone 4 days now because I know that they might check to see if I smoked anything.... If they suspect I have then I don't get surgery.... What the hell is wrong w/ me I have been jumping thru hoops for 2 years now.. Why can't I just stop.. For Godsakes man!!!

WEll like I said it has been 4 days... UHGGG!

I asked Brian to bring home something to drink.. You know, some stuff for a fuzzle Navel or two...

I am not a drinker, never really have been, but I was thinkin a few drinks and I would be good to go huh? No! I take a few sips and think.. CRAP, talk about addiction transfer.. That's what the Dr. says Will happen after surgery if I am not careful... Can't have food so people turn to other things.... Maybe this self sabotage is the battle I will always fight..

My name is Martina and I have a few problems....