Friday, April 30, 2010

Am I who I thought I could be...


Same doo rag 1 year later The change on the outside is amazing.. The change on the inside is complicated....
This blog has been hard to come back to.. I struggle with closing the door on this chapter in my life... I think tho I want to close it outta shame, not simply because I have lost so much weight...
I went back and readmy old posts and man... Wow... There was one that I posted that struck me anew.. I was talking about my biggest,maybe my deepest fear... What if I am fat because I am lazy, not lazy because I am fat.... Our family counselor once told me, there is no lazy people, just unmotivated ones.... I'm not sure if I believe that or not, but I ponder on it frequently.
Do I eat less because I am healthy, and want to live a long life of mobility.. Or as I feared do I eat less simply because my pouch is the size of a golfball... At the end of my day 15o somethin' lbs doesnt scream freedom in my ear... It whispers "Watch out, I'm still here you just can't see me".

4 comments:

  1. I see big changes in you, not only your weight but out look on life. I'm very proud of you for all that you do and are. You are an amazing woman and don't ever forget that!
    You know I Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think the counselor is wrong. I know people who are just lazy and You don't seem like one of them,that is for sure. Keep up the good work

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