My teens~ my life~

So much to talk about I don't even know where to start...
I'm kinda glad that right now no one reads this blog.... Seems there isn't much to write about my weight loss journey until I am closer to the time of having the surgery..
Right now in my life so much has been brewing...
My kids have been gone for a few days now.. It's nice to have it quite.. I think I am ready for them to start their new lives as young adults soon. I am soo excited for their future..
Six months ago if you would have read my blg about Josh over on my space. You would have never thought we would be here now!
Josh is so wonderful to be around.... He is all the good things in me, and even though the bad things in me have leaked into his life, he has made them good! He is quick to anger like I am, but cools so much faster then I do... He is handsome and funny.... compassionate, sarcastic... He calls bullshit.. I love that about him... I am excited to hear about his adventures of the villages.. He is living my dream!
Chauni and I have been struggling.. She is almost 18 and I ahve never had problems with her aside from the scool work issues we have every school year.. She has never even kissed a boy. Never snuck out never went to a party.. She wouldn't even know what to do at a Party... Thank God! She is pure and innocent So weird to me.. Being I was well lets just say, not such a good girl back in the day! We are at a cross road right now.... She wants so much to have an adult life and get ready to move out on her own.. I don't think she is ready... I want her to live here while she is in collage.. She doesn't want to! I Love her so much and just worry about her! Her heart, she is so not ready for what life can be at times!
Other news!
Struggling w/ the stories I heard as a child about my biological mother and the version of what she is now telling me.. Speaking to Chaunis father after 18 years of no communication.. I could go the rest of my life not talking to him.. What a moron!
My BFF Rachael has been in the hospital sick, makes me sad I am not there holding her hand... My other friends father died. I loved him. I want to so be there holding her hand as well.
My food intake is stupid...
I watch more and more vids about protein and fiber.. I have all the tools, But am still retarded!
I having nothing else to talk about right now! I have weigh in tomorrow UGGGGG!